Welcome To Grace Phonogram eMedia

STILL THE ONE

clinton hits paydirt in late night

So, there was Former President Bill Clinton on Letterman last night. I thought I was dreaming or imagining it, but, no, it really was him. After an awkward start, with Dave (apparently) not wanting to reprise his finest moment on TV— the emotional, rambling tirade he delivered after the attacks on September 17, 2001— but feeling pressured to be America's Cranky Uncle anyway, they wheeled out a tanned and immaculately coifed Clinton, whose very first line sent the Ed Sullivan Theatre into convulsions: referring to his love of the saxophone, Clinton said he had a music room built in his house so he can spend hours in there alone and just "blow away."

The interview never recovered from that. The audience, primed by ten years of ruthlessly scabrous Clinton jokes, was on the edge of its seat, not for pearls of wisdom from this elder statesman, but for opportunities for Clinton to take a poke at Letterman or for Letterman to fall on his sword the way he did with both Hillary and George W. Bush ("As you may know, I've said some unkind things about you..." Dubya, either sincerely unaware or (more likely) enjoying himself by letting Dave twist in the wind, plays out the long laugh). There was no tension-deflating moment like that between the two of them. A historic moment that should have gone like this:

Dave: as you may know, I've said some unkind things about you...

Bill: Well, yeah, but I had it comin'. Hell, I undermined a great many good accomplishments by good people within my administration by some tacky personal behavior that just shouldn't have happened. I embarrassed myself and my family and hurt a lot of good friends and I deeply regret the pain I've put them and this country through. The fact that those personal issues will forever cloud my work and the work of so many others in my administration is a burden I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. In that context, a few jokes in your monologue is the very least that I deserve.

Huge applause. Standing ovation. Bill sips coffee, Dave is off-balance and disarmed and is forced into a commercial break. The statement makes all the post 91-11 news, and a new Clinton emerges.

But, I'm not sure Clinton is capable of a statement, of a prophylactic move like that. I think the disconnect is still there, between his intellect and libido, and on some level he's still likely holding onto the "I wuz robbed" approach. Which is a shame. Given all that yesterday represented for this country, it seemed a little tacky for Bill to go on national TV and grab some spotlight for himself. And Letterman, a master at his game, was so far off of it last night, it looked like Dave wanted to make that apology.

In the days following the attacks I surfed the channels looking for some signs of comfort and reassurance. The President just couldn't comfort me. I dunno, maybe he's still too new at it, but in those first days he still looked like he was campaigning and reading off of cue cards. He's gotten much better at seeming sincere now, but in those first few days the guy I was looking for was Bill Clinton (who was out of the country during the attacks). I found him at a memorial service. Looking far more presidential and mustering more sincerity than Dubya has ever managed. And I thought to myself, "My god, THAT's a president." Followed immediately by, "too bad that his legacy is one of Letterman jokes." I think he missed a great opportunity to set his world right last night.

Paradoxically, Clinton was incredible. Extremely presidential. At one point letterman said, "You know what I think? I think you may still be president." Big applause. Clinton made rational sense out of Enron, al Qaeda and Saddam. He expertly maneuvered around outright criticism of Bush, while bringing both reason and clarity the Oval Office's current occupant has yet to muster. In an odd way, he was just what the nation needed: a calm fireside chat from dad. A dad we'd respect more if there was a more certain closure to dad's ugly stupidity.

My friend Kevin J. Maroney put it this way:

Bill does laugh about his troubles—he did so in front of a Baptist gathering in Arkansas last month. (Something to the effect of "They spent $70 million to prove that I was a sinner, and any of you good folks could have told them that for free.")

But the scenario you outlined would be granting specific absolution to Letterman for being among the people specifically making money off of Clinton's troubles, and there's no reason for Bill to grant him that absolution in the absence of specific statements from Letterman indicating that he wants that absolution. In short, Dave would indeed have to volunteer "I've said some unfair things about you". If he'd done that, I think Clinton might have opened up more. But Clinton isn't the wronging party in their relationship.

And I'll agree. At first pass, I thought it was a very awkward, very uncomfortable and bad episode of Letterman. Upon repeated viewings, however, this may have been Dave's finest hour. He hasn't been able to get quite back into the swing of Clinton jokes since: I think maybe the former president did achieve some closure after all.

Christopher J. Priest
September 12, 2002